Friendship

Friendships are usually for a reason, a season, or forever. I don't know where I first heard this but it has proved so very true over the years. I find it very helpful, because I, like many, would beat myself up if a friendship came to a natural end, because the reason was over, or the season had passed. Many friendships need things in common to create them, and to sustain them.

 

A few don't.

 

Last week I spent almost a week in the most beautiful house in Little Haven in Wales. Most importantly I was with some of the best friends I have in the world. (I have other special friends, I'm grateful for this, please know that not naming you here doesn't lesser that.)

 

The reason was bittersweet. Di, who I have known since we met in antenatal classes whilst pregnant with our first babies, has secondary cancer, and an almighty battle on her hands. But she has God on her side, and an army behind her. We, her daughters and her friends are part of that army, and a little time for us was needed. Di is a lovely example of a forever friend. Initially it was a reason (small babies are a great reason!) and there have been times when we've seen less of each other, but we always know that the other is there. We don't 'need' to do things to prove it. Its a rock solid friendship. I'm very grateful that the trip to America in May to see Angie realigned our friendship, that God, in His amazingly clever way, set things in place to support Di through this time, and I'm glad to be part of that.

 

The May trip also brought Sarah and Ruth back together as friends, and its lovely to see that friendship growing. The Wales trip also gave me chance to develop my friendship/ second mothering with Ruth, and a chance to get to know Martha again.

 

I don't think I'm going to try and capture all I feel about my beautiful daughter here - but I love that we are friends as well as mother and daughter.

 

Which leaves Angie - there are no words that truly describe how much Angie means to me. We found a song many years ago that has the line - ' a friend's a friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them'. Angie had been praying for a friend in Abingdon and I arrived! We had our babies together. We survived the first move to an hour away, and then the move to various places in the US. I love this woman beyond words, she is my soul sister. Forever, in a heat beat. There is nothing she can do that would ever change it. Sometimes we 'speak' daily, sometimes not for months. It doesn't matter. One of us calls and the other is there. She has my back, and I have hers.

 

 

 

 

Godzone

Godzone is the kid's church at the Church I attend. I was part of the team that caught God's vision for the children of our church, and 12 years ago saw the beginning of this amazing work. Sarah was 13, one of the original teenage helpers, PJ, one of the first ever Red group. Paul and I joined 'just' to do puppets. I have loved being part of a ministry that has sown seeds in hundreds of children's lives. I have been privileged to see how many of those seeds have grown into an amazing faith in many young people's lives. Equally many more are there for God to work on in due time.

 

Today was my last ever Godzone. It was time. Time for new things, for Godzone and for me. But I am a little bit sad. There's a song we have loved singing that has a line that says 'every where I look I see your face' and every time we sing it I have heard God saying 'look, look at their faces, see me in them', and I have, I've seen a glimpse of my Lord in the faces of the Children - is there any greater treasure?

 

So tonight I will allow me to be a bit sad, but also be grateful, and hopeful for things to come.

 

Enough

Yesterday I spent the day at Trinity Cheltenham's Women's Day - Splendour. It was a great day. Great Worship, great fellowship, great teaching. I really value these days - a chance to feast on the Lord - I think there is a place for feasting, alongside every day daily bread.

 

Anyway one of the speakers, Ben Cooley from Hope for Justice, was talking about his work, his passion for seeing justice reign, and his vision to see an end to modern day slavery. It was a hard hitting talk on many layers. But the bit that has stayed with me is about 'enough'.

 

He was talking about how hard it is to do what he does (not in a complaining way), and how sometimes he feels as though he has had enough. He referenced Elijah (1 King's 19), who, after being threatened by Jezebel, runs away, and says to the Lord, I have had enough, take my life.

 

Now there are times when my job is overwhelming, when I'm not sure if I have enough emotion left.

 

I have friends, who have been beaten and battered, are being beaten and battered, by thing, after thing , after thing, and there have had so much more than enough.

 

The sufferings in many places in the world are too much.

 

The suffering of the children and adults who are modern day slaves is too much.

 

I have prayed 'enough' for my friends, and I try to do it for the big situations.....

 

But Ben's point was that we have a choice - 'enough' can be a cry of defeat, or a cry of defiance. We can chose to say - Enough - I stand against the horrors of the world - on behalf of the kids I care for, on behalf of my friends who are suffering, on behalf of all God's people who are suffering.

 

Because the battle belongs to the Lord. And He has won. The skirmish that the devil is trying to use to snatch us away will NOT win. And enough is enough. And I am crying out on behalf of my friends - its time it stopped.

9/11 Museum

 I promised more about the 9/11 museum. Angie somehow managed to get tickets, a major coup considering it only opened last week (the day before we went I think). I can remember where I was when the planes hit - Sarah was off school sick with something, watching tv, so when the news coverage took over we watched, and we watched as the second plane hit, and the world realised this was not an accident, and we watched as the towers tumbled. I'd seen the twin towers on a previous trip - they were just another 2 skyscrapers then......

 

The memorials, 2 beautiful squares, one each on the footprint of its respective tower, with the names of the people who died there, engraved around the outside, framing a multi-layered waterfall that goes down towards the foundations. As I said, beautiful.

 

The museum takes you under the two towers, and walks you through the events leading up to the day, minute by minute of the day, and afterwards. It's very well done, lots of very personal touches, it really is about the individuals, as well as about the nation. It was also totally emotionally overwhelming. To stand where over 3000 people died, to hear snippets of recorded farewells, to see shoes, or briefcases and other nick knacks that were found. To read the intelligence warning dated 2 months previously, predicting in detail what happened, supposedly without evidence to cause them to stop it. To read that, even now, 13 years later, they haven't been able to identify the remains of 40% of the people who died in the twin towers. It was heartbreaking. And rightly so - it was an event that changed the world.

Girls trip :)

So today we arrived back from an amazing girls trip to the States. Angie, Sarah's Godmum, my oldest friend (not in age but in time), invited the girls - me, Sarah, Di, Ruth (Martha, Liz and Catherine who could not make it this time) to join her for the weekend. So we went....

 

Fairly complicated travel arrangements, 3 planes, 2 airports (minimising cost, maximising airmiles) and we got there.

 

Lots of food, fun, laughter and alcohol.

 

An amazing trip to New York, not the best weather, starting grey (couldn't see the top of the empire state building), fabulous bus tour, 9/11 Museum (more later) a wet/windy/hilarious return bus journey. A missed turning meaning we found a great, cheap (by major city standards) car park right by Times Square.

 

An equally fun, but sunnier, walking gourmet food tour round the Italian Market in Philly - great food, a chance to get a glimpse of the real Philly, hear the story of William Penn, and see some stunning mosaics by Isaiah Zegar.

 

Mix in lots of lovely times, walking Toby round the lake, sitting on the deck, drinking Angie's cocktails (never let Angie pour the vodka!!!!), eating lovely food, chatting endlessly. And a healthy sprinkle of shopping. All adds up to an amazing trip.

 

But then of course we had to come home - too soon, but maybe just before the fish went off (fish and guests start rotting if they stay too long). Hopes of a repeat trip in 2 years time, with the whole group.

And now I have a sore back (must have dozed awkwardly) and sleep deficit but don't have to go back to work until Thursday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Easter Saturday

I've been reading a book called 'God on Mute' by Pete Greig. Its a really good book about why, at some key times in our lives, God appears silent. He's a really well known prayer warrior, who founded the 24/7 prayer movement, but this book is startlingly honest. He shares his own experience of his wife nearly dying, and living, but with a significant long term illness. Of how he struggled to hear God's voice, to understand what God was doing at any point.

 

He uses the days of Easter to show that Jesus went through this too, Maundy Thursday, in the garden of Gethsemane, pleading with God to take away this impending doom, of ultimately saying 'but whatever you want'; of Good Friday, when Jesus himself could not hear God speak, and then Easter Sunday when all prayers are ultimately answered. Its powerful, I'm still absorbing it, and I think I'll have to re-read it soon to absorb some more.

 

But he also mentions Easter Saturday (I read this bit yesterday) - he points out that because we know how the story ends we skip over 'today'. But can you imagine what it felt like? For His family, friends and disciples, who had watched Him die, and be buried, and were now grieving. Could they hold on to any scrap of hope that somehow it was going to be alright? What did they do? Did they hide, did they go to the synagogue? (It was their Sabbath) Did they find a safe place to wait? He mentions Bethany, as a place where friends were, where Lazarus was, a living reminder of the amazing things God could do.

 

So today, the 'ordinary' day in the story, where we will get on with our lives, doing the normal jobs that need doing, I'm remembering those of us who grieve, in Hope, that tomorrow does come.

 

 

A bear hunt?

I often liken life to that famous story - 'we're going on a bear hunt' because, simply, you cant avoid it, you have to go through it. So I thought I'd have a go at adapting the original. I probably could have done better with more time, but it didn't feel like it needed more effort - its just a thought but I'd happily take ideas for better verses......

 

We're going on a faith walk,
We're gonna walk with Jesus
What a beautiful day,
We're not scared.
Oh oh!

Life,
Big, complicated, life.
We can't go over it,
We can't go under it,
We've gotta go through it!
Swishy swashy, swishy swashy.

We're going on a faith walk,
We're gonna walk with Jesus
What a beautiful day,
We're not scared.
Oh oh!

Sorrow,
Deep, dark, sorrow.
We can't go over it,
We can't go under it,
We've gotta go throught it!
Squelch squelch, squelch squelch

We're going on a faith walk,
We're gonna walk with Jesus
What a beautiful day,
We're not scared.
Oh oh!

Loneliness,
Deep, dark loneliness.
We can't go over it,
We can't go under it,
We've gotta go throught it!
Splish splosh, splish splosh.

We're going on a faith walk,
We're gonna walk with Jesus
What a beautiful day,
We're not scared.
Oh oh!

Failure,
Horrible, horrible failure.
We can't go over it,
We can't go under it,
We've gotta go throught it!
Stmble trip, stumble trip.

We're going on a faith walk,
We're gonna walk with Jesus
What a beautiful day,
We're not scared.
Oh oh!

Death,
A scary, dark place.
We can't go over it,
We can't go under it,
We've gotta go throught it!
Tiptoe, tiptoe.

Oh yes – its Heaven

Quick!

Run to Jesus

Through death, tiptoe, tiptoe,
Through the failure stumble trip, stumble trip,
Through the loneliness, splish splosh, splish spolosh,
Through the sorrow,, squelch squelch, squelch squelch,
Through life, swishy swashy, swishy swashy.
Run to Jesus, home at last

 

What my day might have been like

There's a post on fb that tries to describe a day in the life of a paediatric nurse - its good at giving a glimpse whilst also showing how hard it is to describe - and its made me think, and decide to have a go myself...

 

So - if you ask me what my day has been like - I might tell you about the great place I work, the fab people I work with, where the focus is on the patients not politics.....or I might tell you what its like to work for a children's hospice, to have a job title that can literally stall any casual conversation. I might tell you what it's like to welcome parents visiting for the first time and see the fear and the dread on their faces because why, in any sense of reality, would they be pleased to need to visit a children's hospice? Or to visit a child in their home, and be greeted by a mother telling you she has been dreading you coming, because, again, my presence reminds her that her child is going to die...

 

I might tell you about those parents who at the end of their visit comment that at last it feels like there is a ray of sunshine in the midst of hell, or the mother that tells me that today she is pleased to see me, because today she needs me to take away her child's pain, and trusts me that I can.

 

Or of the many times families crawl over the door, knowing that we will share their burden while they rest...

 

I might tell you of the children - so many, many children, who I have cared for, who I've held as the laugh and chuckle, who I've held as I've carried them to rest in our 'little room'. Or of the brothers and sisters who play and laugh and cry, and learn that even though their sibling has died, life can go on, and its ok to be happy and sad.

 

I'd tell you of the parents, who's endless courage gives me courage, to whom I can give a word of encouragement, a word that shines a light into their misery, who I can hold up, so that they can hold their child, just a little bit longer. Or who might ask me to hold them for them just a little while.

 

I might well tell you of the many times I sit in traffic, or on a train, or in a meeting, because these are easy things to talk about.

 

I might, just might tell you about all the times my God breaks my heart with what breaks His, constantly giving me the choice about whether I walk this path with Him and with these families. Foe now the only possible answer is 'yes'.

 

There's many things I might say, to try and describe my day, but I doubt I'd do it justice.