Father's Day

Today is father's day. A good day, Godzone this morning, a lovely sunny day, BBQ lunch with my parents and their friend Graham, a little bit of shopping, a nice chat to Sarah.

But..........we cant help knowing that this is the first father's day without Paul's dad. And in 10 days time we are going to Henley, as a big family celebration in memory of him, and soon after that is the actual anniversary. Dorothy House have a remembrance thing on the day which we hope to go to. So lots happening now to remind us, and, relieved as we are that he isn't suffering, and that we don't have to watch and wait, we are sad, I am sad. I was lucky to have George in my life for 30 years, and I loved him, and I miss him. And, as I keep saying to the rest of the family, its right and proper to be sad sometimes.

The other hard thing is, of course, that Paul's mum, safe and well cared for in the Nursing Home, is, in essence 'gone'. The woman I loved, who I admired, who inspired my faith, is gone. The woman who is left lives in a world I don't recognise, but where she is happy, and for that I am very grateful. But I miss her too.

So, a mixed day, lovely in many ways, sad in many ways

But, because it feels right to put this sadness in context, Hannah is home on saturday, Sarah a week on monday, and we go on holiday the following saturday, after PJ has finished all his exams, and formally left school. The summer will fly by, hopefully full of sunshine and fun. A much better note to end on :)