Permanent :)

If you read this regularly you will remember this http://kalbrombley.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/ive-been-waiting-long-time-to-write.html or even this http://kalbrombley.blogspot.co.uk/2010/12/blog-post.html. Well those two years, which back then seemed a long time, are almost up - January to be exact, and the time to plea for a permanent contract arrived.

 

It was interesting because my first instinct was that I didn't want to drive this. One of the things I learnt in those hard times was that life is so much better when I let God be in charge. Its left me a bit wary of leading on things in case I get in the way. I'm still working on this fine balance but at New Wine they were talking a lot about the fact that God often answers are prayers with 'ok, let us do this' with an emphasis that He chooses to work with us, through us.

 

But I hate selling myself....

 

But I got over it, and wrote a 4 page proposal of why they would want to keep me, showing how the role has made a big difference to children, families, and services, mine and many others. And I've had to sit as everything I do was discussed, and judged, and because, as those of you who know me, know, who I am is part of what I do, they were judging me. Its a hard place to be. Its separate to me knowing who I am in God, but a) I need a job and b) I wanted this one. I love it, and it does make a difference, and I do believe I'm doing God's work, and I count myself very blessed to be able to say this.

 

So last week the first hurdle, the management group, the people I work with. A unanimous YES :)

 

This week, trustees, people who know me less well, but are responsible for the organisation. A meeting that was very different with some difficult decisions to make, a last minute warning that maybe they wouldn't get to me......but they did, and a unanimous YES.

 

This is a slight underestimation of quite how stressed I was! But its over now.

 

And I am about to have a permanent contract, the validation that they value what I do, the go ahead to carry onwards and upwards.

 

I am very very relieved and excited. As I've said I love my job, and I love working for this organisation.

 

It was a risk 2 years ago, but my desperation to get out of my old job made that risk easier to take.

 

My one fear was that away from that old job, I would drift from God, I actually prayed that this job wouldn't be too easy! I don't regret that prayer. But I underestimated the cost of this job. I care for children who are dying. Each and everyone of them is so precious, and its wrong that they are suffering and dying. I do make a difference, and God enables me to carry this load, but I cling to Him just as much, which is what I wanted.

 

So today I look forward to more, so much more, and give thanks.