clinical supervision aka counselling

We have regular clinical supervision at work, with a fab lady who is a trained counsellor, but was a Health Visitor, so understands the world we work in. Mainly she does group or individual sessions relating to work issues (not surprisingly) and with Joy and I does a fair amount of coaching. Before she went on holiday Joy told me I should go and see her, but I'd ducked it because I was doing my own version of avoiding facing stuff (with exceptions like last friday), but then she rang me about something else and I ended up going to visit her today.

I was nervous when I arrived - I didn't want to spend an hour crying, not because its wrong to cry, but because I had to go on to a meeting, and I've learnt that when I start I don't stop for a while.

But I didn't - I did well up a few times, but came away with some things sorted out in my head.....

I have as much right to grieve as anyone (contrary to the lie that had been going round in my head)

I am amazingly lucky to have had them in my life, they have each given me something that my own parents were unable to give me. I am and will miss these things but isn't God awesome that He gave them to me at all!

And isn't it great to know that He can compensate for my failings with my kids (and S&P - I am sorry for all the hangups I have handed on to you)

And we talked about Paul being away. I don't regret it - I could have asked him not to go, but it didn't feel right, and it is hard without him, but it'd would still be hard with him too, and God is with us both.

So I'm glad I went, and I booked another session :)