Like Sarah I've been avoiding blogging because I don't know how to write this one. After 18 months of waiting and anticipating this time it would seem that Paul's dad is in the last few weeks of his life.................he's still in hospital, still has one chest drain, but they are working hard to get him home to die. I veer between not believing it and getting to the verge of overwhelming sorrow, then pull myself back - I'm not allowing myself the space to grieve - not yet...........
Paul is in the States - for 3 weeks, so it feels as though the next few weeks are going to be tough. But I know God is with me - Church was tough because lots of lovely people kept asking how we all were - which meant I had to repeat the story - which was very hard work - and there was a moment when a very special little girl we know sidled up to me and cuddled into me for about 5 mins, whilst I was talking to someone, then just floated off to have fun with her friends - I felt like God had sent me a hug when I needed it...............
Will try and keep this up..........
Kal x
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